Wherever I Go
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: 12 year old Miley is suffering from the same Leukemia that killed her mother.  Her 7 year old brother is the only one who can save her.  Clearly AU and I don't own Hannah Montana
1. Here we are now

**Miley's point of view**

I am exhausted. I have been feeling uncomfortable for the past could of weeks... just abnormally achy. The other day I stubbed my toe at dance practice and it started bleeding. I feel weak. I can't exercise as much as I used to. I lost about 10 pounds. Aside from that I've been bruising horribly lately. I'm scared to admit it but I know what's wrong with me. I was six when my mom died from this disease. Jackson was just under a year. There's no question about it. I have leukemia. A gentle knock is heard on my door.

"Miles," dad called, "Come on bud. Lets get you to rehearsal."  
I took in a breath.

"Alright daddy," I said, "but first can we talk"

"Well honey can't we talk in the car," dad said, "your rehearsal is in forty-five minutes."

"No daddy," I said opening the door, "This is serious"  
He sat down on my bed giving me his full attention.

"What's up bud," he said.

"Daddy," I told him, "I think I'm sick"

**Robby Ray's point of view**

"What," I asked her, "You mean like a cold?"

I didn't see how a cold was serious but I guess to her it could be.

"No," she shook her head, "I mean more serious then a cold"

She lifted up her shirt to reveal a stomach and back full of bruises.

"There's more on my legs and arms," she said

My jaw dropped.


	2. Everything is about to change

**Robby Ray's point of view ((continued))**

I took a deep breath and tried hard to remain calm. I knew exactly what it was but Miley didn't need her daddy to freak. She needed her daddy to be calm and assure her as best I could. Nicole died from this when she was only a little girl. Jackson didn't remember Nicole.

"Okay bud," I said, "First thing we need to do is cancel your rehearsal and second we need to get you to a doctor"

"But daddy if we cancel rehearsal I'll disappoint-"

"Now Miley not another word," I said firmly.

Her well being was more important.

I called to cancel her rehearsal. Then I called the doctor.

"We can get her in tomorrow," The receptionist said.

"Excuse me," I said and walked outside so she couldn't hear me.

"Lady," I said, "My daughter is extremely sick. I want you to get her in NOW."

"We are completely booked"

"Tell Dr. Red that Robby Ray needs a favor"

"Please hold," the receptionist replied.

She put me on hold.

**Miley's point of view**

Daddy came in.

"Okay bud," he said, "Dr. Red is going to see you in 15 minutes"

I nodded. He went over and kissed my head.

"It's gonna be okay Miley," daddy said gently

**Dr. Red's point of view**

How do you tell the man who is like your brother that his daughter has Leukemia? I feel like I'm betraying him.

"Okay," I said, "So... I have Miley's test results here and... I'm afraid it doesn't look good. She has APL. Acute promyelocytic leukemia


	3. We face tomorrow

**Robby Ray's point of view**

When Nicole was diagnosed with APL I had questions. I had questions about her treatment options. I had questions about what could be and what couldn't be. I had questions about her chances. Now that Miley has the same disease I have questions too.  
I have questions like _Why my daughter. _I have questions like _how come GOD is being so cruel. _

**Miley's point of view**

"Okay," I said, "We know that I'm sick. Now how do I get better"  
Dad and Dr. Red looked at me as if they had forgotten I was in the room.

"Well that's going to be kind of tricky Miley. You have an aggressive form of cancer. You are also at level 3. Right now we'll have to start you on chemotherapy and radiation. That will hopefully slow the disease down. Eventually though you'll need a bone marrow transplant."

"Why don't I just get one right now?"

"That's a very good question Miley," Dr. Red said, "The reason you can't just get one now is because you're not strong enough to handle a bone marrow transplant. You would die from the transplant alone. Then there are all the infections you can pick up"

"Doctor I'm going to ask you a question," I said, "and I want you to be totally honest. What are my chances of survival"

Dr. Red was quiet.

"Without the transplant," he said, "Less then zero percent. With the transplant about 75%. We'll start you on treatment right away"

"Alright," I said, "I'll do whatever it takes" 


	4. As We Say Goodbye To Yesterday

**Miley's point of view**

I felt like I was about to lose my childhood. No longer would I be living a life of concerts, shows and CD signings. Now it was going to revolve around chemo and radiation and wigs... well I know about wigs. I have to wear a wig to be Hannah Montana. My life would no longer be sleeping over at Lily's house. Now it would be sleeping over in the hospital room. It's no longer going to be playing with my little brother. It would be playing don't forget to take your pills. It would no longer be watching movies and eating popcorn. It would be... and would I even be able to be Hannah Montana anymore. GOD the thought of not being Hannah Montana was enough to make me cry. Hannah is a part of who I am.  
Daddy assured me I would still be able to be Hannah. She would just have to take a time out right now. I never liked time outs. Even though in our family time out wasn't punishment. It was just time to cool down. But it still was frustrating. And I have to admit I'm scared to death. What if I die like momma did?

"Daddy," I said, "What if I don't make it?"  
He was quiet for a second.

"If you don't make it," he said, "You'll be with your mom. But no talk of that. You're gonna make it. Like your song says **Don't let no small frustration ever bring you down.**.. **just take a situation and turn it all around**

**"With a new attitude everything can change..."**

"See," daddy said, "You're gonna win this fight."


	5. A Chapter Ending

**Jackson's point of view**

I may only be seven but I'm pretty smart for my age. That's why when daddy sat me down after story time and said, "BUD we need to talk I knew I wasn't in trouble but I wished I was. Something was wrong.

"K," I said, "What's up daddy"

"It's about your sister. She's...," he paused, "She's not feeling so good because she's really sick right now"  
I had an idea. 

"Lets make her some chicken noodle soup," I said, "It always makes me feel better when I'm sick"  
Daddy hugged me.

"It's not that kind of sickness," he said, "She's got a really bad disease called cancer. While she's getting better there are going to be some scary things she's going through. You might see her feel funny in her tummy a lot because the medications she's getting is making her feel funny in her tummy. You might notice that she's getting mad a lot but she isn't doing it to hurt you. She's not able to control herself. There might be days where I give a whole lot of attention to her and not so much to you. It doesn't mean I love her more. I love you both equal. But she's going to need it more. Do you understand buddy?"

"Yeah," I said cheerfully, "The dog with the fleas gets the tick bath"  
That's an expression daddy always uses.

**Robby Ray's point of view**

That was an interesting way to put it but I'm glad that he listened to me.

**Miley's point of view**

On the news today they announced that Hannah Montana was taking a break and would be back soon as possible. I swear I thought I was going to cry.


	6. But The Story's Only Just Begun

**Lily's point of view**

Something didn't seem right. Miley wasn't in school today and she loves school. Sure, she hates Amber and Ashley. We all do. But she loves school.  
Was she trying to avoid something? I had to find out.

"Miley," I said when I came over to her house, "I brought your homework"  
She sniffled.

"Thanks Lily," she said, "But you need to know I won't be doing that for awhile."

"B-b-b-but if you don't do your homework you could get in trouble and with all your concerts and shows and all you can't afford to get in trouble and I know I'm your best friend but I can't-"  
Miley burst into tears. I hated to see her cry.

"Okay scratch that. Miley what's going on?"

**Miley's Point of View**

Lily is right. She is my best friend. She's been there for me through good times and bad times. Sure, we've fought but we always would make up. Whenever we would fight she would say things she didn't mean and she would always apologize within minutes. But how could I tell her this? She'll be soooooooooo upset.

"I'm sick," I told her.

"Oh. Do you have a cold?"

"I **wish **it was a cold. Lily, sit down"

Lily took a seat on my dad's easy chair. He rarely uses it so it didn't matter much. This was the hardest thing in the world to say.

"Lily," I said, "I have Leukemia"

Lily looked at me like I announced **she **had an x-box. It was a 'that's impossible' type of look.

"W-w-w-what!"

I repeated myself.

"I have what killed my mom"


	7. A Page is Turning for Everyone

**Nicole's Point of View**

In heaven you're not supposed to feel anything but joy. How am I supposed to feel joy. My oldest child is suffering from the illness that killed me. Part of me hopes it will take her. APL is a harsh illness and she's in for a lot of pain and suffering. I want that pain and suffering to end for her. I also miss her so much. I miss her and Robby and Jackson. But I also know what losing Miley would do to Jackson and Robby. It would hurt them so bad. There's not a dang thing I can do but sit back and watch. That's what I hate about being dead.

**Miley's Point of View**

Three years ago Lily and I had our first real fight. In the midst of that fight she said something she didn't mean. It hurt hearing her say that but I knew she didn't mean it. I would love to hear Dr. Red say "oh the test results were wrong. You don't really have APL. It was a mistake. But that's not going to happen.

**Lily's Point of View**

What if Miley dies? I would lose my best friend. I would lose my co-girl. I would lose the person who could make me laugh and smile. I would never have another friend like her again. Sure I'd make new friends but nobody could ever replace Miley.

**Jackson's Point of View**

I heard Miley telling Lily that she has the same disease that made mommy die. I don't want to lose my big sister. I want her to be better. I want her to play with me. I want her to sing again. I want her to be Miley again. I'm scared.

**Robby Ray's Point of View**

Miley has her first day of chemo tomorrow. Lily asked if she could come with Miley. My mom offered to baby sit for Jackson... excuse me LITTLE MAN SIT for Jackson since according to him he's not a baby. Everything's settled but I feel like my life is falling apart... probably because it is.


	8. So I'm Moving On Part 1

**Lily's Point of View**

Miley groaned as she emptied the content of her stomach. I took a wet napkin and wiped her face rubbing her back as she groaned again.

"I don't know why they call it chemo," she said, "They should call it poison"

"Actually," I said, "It is poison. But it's the type of poison that's going to help kill your cancer"  
She threw up again.

"If it doesn't kill me first," she moaned

"MILEY RAE STEWART," I scolded, "DON'T TALK LIKE THAT. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE. I REFUSE TO LOSE MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD"  
I wiped her face again as she groaned again.

**Miley's Point of View**

My entire stomach felt like it was on fire. I was so tired. I was so scared. I didn't have the strength to fight. Then Lily did something amazing. In her awful voice (and she KNEW) it was an awful voice she started sing.

_You get the limo out front_

_Hot styles every shoe every color_

_Yeah when your famous it can be kind of fun_

_It's really you but no-one ever discovers_

I was laughing while I was throwing up. Every time I would lose my lunch Lily would wipe my mouth, give me soup juice to keep me hydrated and sing again some more making me laugh

_You get the best of both worlds_

_Chill it out take it slow _

_Then you rock at the show_

_You get the best of both worlds_

_Mix it all together and you know it's much better_

_Cause you know that it's the best of both worlds._

"Lily," I said, "Don't quit your day job"

"There's the Miley I know and love," she said laughing

"I want to be the Miley that you know and love and that the world knows and loves"

**Robby Ray's Point of View**

"Darlin' the world loves **you**" I told her, "Not Hannah Montana"

"But daddy who am I if I'm not Hannah Montana," Miley asked

"You want to know," Lily said before I could respond, "You're the girl that on the worst day you ever had still came to my skating competition. You're the girl that always tries to set things right even if you're scared. You the girl that refuses to fail no matter what you're doing"

"If I was that girl," Miley said, "Wouldn't things be different"

"No darlin'," I told her, "Because said much as we'd like it to be the fact is that there are things we can't control. And Lily's right. Hannah Montana ain't got nothin' on you"


	9. Letting Go Part 1

**Oliver's Point of View**

I was away on a trip when Lily called me. She sounded distraught.

"Lily-pop," I said, "Calm down. What's going on?"  
Lily pop is a nickname I have for her.

"It's Miley," Lily said, "She's got Leukemia"  
I heard of Leukemia but I wasn't sure what it was.

"What's Leukemia," I asked.  
Lily sniffled.

"It's some kind of cancer," Lily said  
I was on the first flight back. I explained the situation to my camp troop leader. He arranged for me to flight home and my parents met me at the airport. Once I was in California mom drove me out to see Miley.

**Miley's Point of View**

My door opened and Oliver walked in.

"Oliver," I said with a fake smile, "It's so good to see you"  
He hugged me.

"Miley I know," he told me.

"You know what," I asked.

"I know about your cancer," he said gently.  
I thought I was going to cry but I had to be strong.

"Let go," he said, "of the need to be strong. You don't have to be strong. It's okay. You can fall. I'll always be there to catch you"  
The did it. The damn in my eyes broke and I lost my composure. I broke down and cried as he rubbed my back and kissed my forehead.

"It was the same cancer that killed my mom," I said

**Oliver's Point of View **

"Well it's not going to kill you. I won't let it. I'll kill it before it kills you"  
That made Miley smile a little bit. It was not her Miley smile though.

"I love you," I told her

"I love you too," she said, "You're my best friend. You and Lily. I'm sorry that I made you miss the rest of the trip"  
I put my hands on my hips.

"MILEY RAE STEWART," I scolded, "THE TRIP DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME. MY BEST FRIEND MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO YOURSELF. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

"I just feel like I'm ruining everyone's life with my illness," Miley said

"You aren't," I told her, "and I'm not going to let that illness ruin your life"

"Eventually I'm going to need a bone marrow transplant," Miley said

"So you'll get it," I replied, "I'll get tested. Lily'll get tested. So will your dad. So will Jackson. Speaking of Jackson, where is he?"

"Oh," Miley sniffled, "Mamaw took him to the water-park. I had my first chemo session today and we want Jackson to not have to be around when I'm sick. It's not fair to him. So whoever is watching him takes him places. Like tomorrow daddy's going to take him to the zoo and Mamaw's staying with me"  
************


	10. Holding on to Tomorrow Part 1

**Robby Ray's Point of View**

"Darlin' I have an idea," I told her

"Tell me," she said

"Well you have 10 days of chemo then a week off then 10 days on and so on."

"Thanks for the reminder," she said sarcastically.

"I was thinking we could celebrate every time your done with a session. Maybe we can schedule a Hannah thing too"

"Oh sure," Miley said, "Cause Hannah would look great with no hair"

"Don't forget," I told her, "HANNAH wears a wig"  
She smiled.

"You have a point," she admitted.

"Great," I said, "We'll have a Hannah CD signing on your 5th day off chemo and on that weekend you, Lily and Oliver can have a sleep over."  
I know it seemed like I was being pushy but I wasn't going to let this cancer rule Miley. .

Miley to my surprise smiled.

"I like that," she said, "It will give me a tomorrow to hold onto"


	11. I've Always Got The Memories Part 1

((Flashback))

_Miley was five years old. Her mom had given birth to Jackson inside the house. She went into the barn so she wouldn't disturb Miley's sleep. Several hours later at 4 o'clock in the morning Robby Ray woke her up._

_"Miles," he said with a smile, "You have a new little brother"_

_"Can I see him daddy," Miley asked excitedly.  
Robby Ray took her hand and led her out to the barn where Nicole was resting, cradling her newborn son._

_"Miley," she said with a smile, "Meet your little brother"_

_Miley's eyes lit up when she saw her brother. _

_"Oh momma can I hold him?"_

_Dr. Blanset who had delivered the baby smiled._

_"You'll have to wash your hands first," he said and then you sure can hold him._

_After Jackson was placed in Miley's arms she asked, "What's his name?"_

_"Well Miley," Nicole said, "We were thinking we'd let you pick his name"  
Miley thought for a couple of minutes. She wanted a name that was perfect for him. Their parents already decided his middle name would be Rod. What's a good name that goes with Rod. Then she thought of it. _

_"Jackson," she said with a smile_

_"Miley that's beautiful," Robby Ray said, "I love it. Where did you think that name up"_

((New Flashback))

_Robby was upset because his booty award was broken._

_"Daddy," 3 year old Miley said, "I accidentally broke it"  
Robby broke into a smile._

_"Well darlin' I'm less then happy that you did that but I'm mighty proud of you that you told the truth about it"_

Miley sighed. She wished her days could be simple again and happy.


	12. While I'm Finding Out Who I'm Gonna Be 1

**Miley's Point of View**

My next chemo appointment was not as bad. They gave me some anti nausea medication but it was really boring.

"Hey look," Mamaw said, "There's a quiz about what you're going to be when you grow up. Oliver why don't you and Miley take that quiz together"

"Okay," Oliver said

"Would you rather, a) build a finance company b) work with food c) work with children or d) work with prisoners," Mamaw asked the first question. Second question was "Do you have a college degree" Third question, "Do you care more about career or relationships."  
It was funny. I already have a career. I'm Hannah Montana.

"Were you academic as a child," Mamaw read  
After going down the list it turned out that I was going to be a music teacher. I had to laugh at that one. It seemed so perfect for me. I don't want to ever stop being Hannah Montana. I know it had to end but I felt like my life was moving along so fast. I wanted to be a child for a little while longer. But I could definitely see myself being a music teacher when I'm grown. It wouldn't be hard. Any school would hire me when they found out I was Hannah Montana.

Suddenly the anti nausea medication wore off. I threw up on the way out of the chemo session on Mamaw's shoes"

"Oh my GOD," I cried, "I'm so sorry mamaw," I cried

"Oh now Miley just don't you be silly," Mamaw said, "I can always get new shoes. I can never get a new Miley"


	13. We Might Be Apart Part 1

**Miley's Point of View continued**

When we got home I was exhausted. I felt right to sleep.

**Nicole's Point of View**

When Miley or Robby Ray is asleep that's the only time I can communicate with them by slipping into their dreams. I won't do that to Jackson. He was far too young when I died. He hasn't really been affected by my passing. Miley and Robby Ray has. I don't want Jackson to be affected and if I slipped into his dreams I'm afraid he would be. Right now I slipped into Miley's dreams.

**Miley's point of view**

I knew I was asleep. I knew I was dreaming and that I didn't want to wake up. I saw the gentle face of my mom. I felt her lay her cool hand on my head.

"Hey baby girl," she said gently, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've just been run over by a train," I groaned, "I didn't feel sick during chemo this time but after. I feel tired and moody and sad."  
Mom smiled wisely.

"Welcome to the wonderful world of cancer," she said sarcastically, "It's hell. But it's not the winner. It's a lot weaker then people would like to think it is."

"Then why do I feel so sick," I asked

"Because," Momma said, "You have cancer. Sweetie I wish there was an easier way to put this but you need to be the big strong girl I know you are. Sometimes that means relying on others and not always being the strong one.

"I miss you momma," I said

"I know baby girl," she said, "but even though we're apart I'm not far away."


	14. But I Hope You Always Know Part 1

**Nicole's Point of View**

"Momma," Miley asked

"Yeah baby girl"

"Am I going to die or am I going to get better?"  
I smiled.

"Yes," I told her, "and either way you'll be alright"

"What's heaven like," she asked me.  
Well I paused and considered a bit. Should I show her? I wanted to. But I didn't want to at the same time. I thought it might make her decide to give up fighting. Heaven is beyond describable. It was perfect. Life here isn't perfect but it's still precious. I decided to hold off a bit on showing her. If it comes to the point where she wouldn't survive I would show her.

"Heaven is wonderful," I said, "but it isn't perfect. It's missing you and your daddy and your brother. One day it will be perfect again. But right now it's a little lonely."  
I was being truthful.

"But you decided to stop your treatment," Miley pointed out.  
I smiled a little sadly.

"I did," I said, "But I did that because the doctor told me that I wasn't going to get better and that the treatment was just buying me some time. I wanted 3 months as a mother and a wife more then I wanted six months as a chemo patient. I wanted to take care of you and go to your school play and hold your brother and tickle him. I wanted to make you and your daddy breakfast and feed your brother. I wouldn't have been able to do that on chemo. If it could have saved me I would have continued but when the doctor said there was no chance I didn't want to continue. Life is to be lived. It's not to suffer."


	15. You'll Be With Me Wherever I Go Part 1

**Miley's point of view**

I thought about that for awhile. Mom had a point.

"DON'T even think about giving up Miley," my mom said firmly, "You still have a lot of hope left. You aren't at the point I was at young lady"

"I know," I said, "I wasn't thinking about giving up. Remember my friends Greg and Kim?"

"Oh yeah," mom smiled at the memory of my big friends from the big friend program.

"Well her sister and brother in law lives with them. Anyway both of the families went through a tough time at one point. Both of them had the problem solved but Kim and Greg got it solved first. Here's the thing though. They turned it into a competition to see who would win. I found that so lame"  
Momma laughed.

"But they had the attitude YOU need to have honey. They had the attitude, **I'm not going to let this situation win. **They didn't listen to what everyone told them. They ignored what everyone else said and eventually they both got their way"

"Yeah but momma what if they didn't"

"They would have been alright," momma said.

"And what about me," I asked, "Will I be alright if I... don't make it?"

"Darlin' of course you will be," she told me, "You are a winner no matter what. Live or die and death is not the end. But right now your brother and your father need you. It's not your time yet"

"What's going to happen to me," I asked.  
I knew she wasn't going to answer me but she told me

"You'll be alright."  
She kissed me and I woke up.


	16. Wherever I Go Part 1

**Jackson's Point of View**  
I got home from the zoo with daddy just as Miley was waking up.

"Miley," I asked, "Can I hug you?"  
Miley grinned and opened her arms.

"I'll take a hug from you any time kiddo," she said

**Miley Point of View**

"Can you read to me," Jackson asked

I smiled at him releasing him from the hug.

"Of course," I said, "What do you feel like reading"

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," he announced.

"Oh that's a good one," I said, "What part are you up to"

"Where the girl turns into a big gum-ball," he said laughing

I read a few chapters of the book to him then had to go throw up.

**Robby Ray's point of view**

My mom saw to Miley while I made Jackson a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.

"Want fries with that," I asked him.

"YEAH," he said excitedly.

He loved fries. He thought they were yummy.

"Cookie cutters," I asked him.

"Yeah," he said, "Santa ones"

He loved Christmas.

"So," I asked him, "What do you want for Christmas this year?"  
He looked a little sad.

"I want Miley to get better," he said, "I don't want to lose my big sister"

I picked him up and sat him on my lap.

"I'd like that too pal," I said, "I know that your sister wants it too but she's real sick right now and she may not be better by Christmas."

I didn't want him to build his hopes up and then be disappointed

"Can we make her some chicken noodle soup," he asked.

"Yeah," I said, "I think she'd like that"


	17. So Excited

**Miley's Point of View **

Today I am so excited. I was finally done with chemo for a whole week. I had my Hannah Montana signing two days from now. Now all I had to do was take it easy. I was able to eat the food I like and not throw up after every 20 seconds. I missed going to school but I had a tutor... Mamaw and she made learning real fun. Today for instance she taught me math by taking me shopping.  
Jackson came home from school looking frustrated.

"What's wrong buddy," I asked him putting an arm around him.

"It's math Miley," Jackson said, "I have a worksheet and I'm too stupid at math to figure it out"

"Well," I said, "I can help you with that. Let me see your worksheet. If you get it all right I'll take you to the mall and you can pick out a gift tomorrow after school. Anything you want"  
He brightened.

"Okay," he said.  
I looked at the first problem. 7 minus 2.

"Okay," I said, "How old were you 2 years ago?"

"Five," he said

"There you go."  
He wrote down five. The next problem was a little trickier. 17 plus 10.

"All you have to do there is put the first number one higher up then the second number," I explained, "so if the first number wasn't 1 and it was two it would be-"

"27," he said excitedly.

"Right," I told him, "That's my boy. Let me see problem number three"  
It was a word problem.

"Okay Jackson," I said, "I'm gonna change this problem up a little"

"Cool"

**Jackson's Point of View**

"Billy has twenty apples"

I got a look in my eye. I didn't know Billy. I didn't care about Billy. She grinned.

"Get your piece of paper," I told him and don't write anything down before I'm done talking. Dr. Red tells me I'm going to get better in 20 days"  
_Yay! Miley was gonna get better in twenty days_

"This is just an example," she said reading my thoughts, "Anyway Dr. Red tells me I'm gonna get better in 20 days. 8 days have already gone by. How much longer until I'm better."  
Man this was tough. Let me see.

"Write down 20," she said  
I did.

"Now write down 8"  
I did but I still couldn't figure it out.

"Tell you what," she said, "Go get the bag of pretzels"  
I did.

"Count 20 pretzels"  
I did

"Eat 8 of them"  
I did"

"Now count how many pretzels there are left."  
I did. It was 12.

"So you're gonna get better in 12 pretzels," I said  
Miley laughed

"12 days sweetie," she said, "but not really. It's going to take longer for me to get better. But I will get better. Jackson I promise you I'm not going to die. I love you too much to die"

**Robby Ray's Point of View**

"Daddy," Miley said, "I'm taking Jackson to the mall. I'm getting him a gift"

"Cool," I told her, "Do you know what you want Jackson"

"A puppy," Jackson said  
I started to say no but then I thought about it. Jackson is suffering through Miley's illness. What harm would a puppy do?

"Okay bud," I told him, "But I'm coming with you to pick it out"

**Miley's Point of View**

Daddy approved of Jackson's first choice. It was a Golden Pug... a newly breaded dog cross between a Golden Retriever and a Pug Dog.

"What are you gonna name her," I asked Jackson.  
It was a girl dog. He grinned.

"Hannah," he said, "after my best friend."  
I swear I thought I would cry.


	18. I Can Barely Even Catch My Breath

**Miley's Point of View continued**

Today was my CD signing. I was going to be doing it in the mall. The first people on line were Lily and Oliver.

"Miley," Oliver whispered to me so low nobody could hear, "Sign your real name for me"

"Why?"

"Because," he whispered, "I like Hannah Montana but I LOVE Miley"  
I grinned and signed my name. Lily wanted the same thing. The next up was a little boy named Sam.

"I have two requests," he said.  
He had a bald head.

"Sure kid what is it?"

"First sign my CD"  
I was proud to do it.

"What's the second one?"

"Go out on a date with me. I have tummy cancer. I've always had a crush on you since I heard your first song and it would make me so happy. I'm off chemo now. Just one date. Then I promise I won't bother you anymore"  
I started to politely decline but for GOD sake the kid had cancer. He had the same disease I have.

"Sure I'll go out on a date with you," I said, "I'll pick you up in the limo Sunday at noon. And you're not bothering me. I would be proud to be your friend."  
His mother wrote down the address while he went skipping along say, "HANNAH MONTANA IS MY FRIEND!" It was really cute.  
I started to feel a little out of breath.

"Hannah is taking a five minute break," Daddy said, "She's got to eat"  
He noticed I was having trouble breathing. He rushed me to the food court where I chose a hot pretzel and a bottle of milk. After eating I felt better.


	19. We Have Each Other To Lean On

**Miley's Point of View continued**

The day before I start chemo again Jackson comes in seeming a little upset.

"Hey Buddy," I said, "What's on your mind?"

"There's a picnic at my school... it's a mother/child picnic and I can't go cause I don't have a mommy"

"When is it," I asked him

"Tomorrow," he said showing me the invitation.  
I read it.

"Stay here and play with Hannah," I told him, "I'll be right back"

**Robby Ray's Point of View**  
Miley came upstairs.

"Daddy," she said, "Look at this"

"What is it darlin'," I asked her.  
She handed me the invitation.

"I want to take Jackson," she said.

"Miles," I told her, "You have chemo tomorrow"

"So cancel it. It's only one day"

"I'd love to darlin' but you need the chemo to keep you alive."

"But my little brother needs me," she argued, "Can't you at least change the chemo appointment to after the picnic?"  
I thought for a minute. I suppose that couldn't do any harm.

"I'll call Dr. Red and see if it's possible to move up your chemo time," I said, "But if not I'm afraid you're going to have to skip the picnic"  
I reach Dr. Red's office and they patched me thorough to him right away. I explained the situation and he was more then willing to cooperate.

**Jackson's Point of View**  
My sister came downstairs all excited.

"Jackson guess what?"

"What Miley"

"You will be going to the picnic after all," she said, "I'll be taking you"  
I hugged her.

"You're the best big sister ever!"


	20. For The Road Ahead

**Lily's Point of View**

I slept over Miley's house that night. Oliver slept over too. After a movie and pizza we sat in Miley's bedroom. We talked for what appeared to be days but it was only hours.

"What's going to happen," Miley asked softly.  
Oliver squeezed her hand.

"Miley," he said  
_Oh please don't say something dumb Oliver, _I silently begged him but he surprised me and said something really smart.

"I wish I knew what was going to happen and I wish I could make sure it's what you were hoping would happen. I don't know. I- everything changes. I'm certainly not the person I used to be. I've grown so much after meeting you... after becoming friends with the most incredible girls in the world. I don't know what's going to happen but I do know that the road ahead is going to be bumpy. It's going to be scary. It's going to be rough. What it's not going to be is alone. You are **never **going to be alone."

"But what if this illness changes my personality? What if I say something stupid? What if I-"

"It might for a little while," Oliver said, "and it probably will. You have gone through so much and you are still going through a lot. Miley that doesn't matter. You are my best friend and no matter what you say, no matter what you do you can never push me away or Lily for that matter. It doesn't matter if you become dull and listless and anything else on the road ahead. I know your heart"


	21. This Happy ENDING

**Lily's Point of View continued**

I just about cried when Oliver said that. It was so beautiful.

**Oliver's Point of View**

"Come on Miley," I told her, "I want to show you something"

"Where are we going," Miley asked

"Out," I told her.  
Lily and I exchanged glances. She knew where we were taking Miley. She'd been there before. It was no surprise to her.

"I'll come too," Lily said

"Duh," I told Lily  
Lily put her hands on her hips.

"LOOK," she scolded, "YOU MIGHT BE MR. AMAZING BUT YOU DON'T GET SNIDE WITH ME"

"Yes Lily pop," I told her.  
Miley laughed.

"Come on," she told me.  
I took one of her hands and one of Lily's.

"We're going out for a little while," I told Mr. Stewart.  
He looked at his watch.

"Be home by 9," he said, "Miley has the picnic tomorrow and chemo."  
I nodded.  
When it comes to friends there is an unspoken understanding. A friend is always there for you no matter how stupid you've been before. A friend is never going to reject you. A friend is someone you know you can trust. A friend will support you. A friend is just another word for love.

"Sure," I said and we walked about 15 minutes to an opening in the woods. I led them through a little cove and Miley's eyes lit up when she saw the place.

**Miley's Point of View**

It was a waterfall. There was a rainbow out today and it reflected on the water.

"Oliver," I said, "It's beautiful"

"Yes. And it will never fade. Neither will our friendship"


	22. Is The Start Of All Our Dreams

**Nobody's Point of View **

Oliver came up with a good idea. He told Miley and Lily that the 3 of them were going to share their dreams and desires.

**Miley's Point of View**

I went first.

"My dream," I said, "Is to be rid of my cancer. I want to eventually get well and be Hannah Montana again more then just a little while. I also must admit I really like Sam's brother"  
When I went to pick up Sam for our 'date' I met his older brother. His name is Jake Ryan and he's really cute.

"I want to date Jake," I added.  
Oliver was dating Lily. Jackson had a crush on a 3rd grade girl.

"I have to find a way to do that without hurting Sam though. Anyway I want to eventually get married and hopefully one day be a mother. I want to end up okay... in the right place. I know that I am so blessed to have friends who will always be my friends and always love me"  
Oliver hugged me. Lily hugged me. I hugged them back.

**Oliver's Point of View **

"One of my dreams is to see Miley get better. I also want to make up with Buddy"  
Buddy was a friend of mine. He was my best friend and then he betrayed me and became someone I never knew. I was mad at him for a long time but Lily wants me to make up with him so I'm going to."

**Lily's point of View**

All I have to say is written in a song Miley wrote. It's called Holding on.

"Miley," I asked, "Can you sing that song?"

"Which one," she asked

"Holding on"  
She smiled and then began.

**Miley's Point of View**

_I know you're scared now_  
_I know you feel you're all alone_  
_I know you're crying  
I know you feel you're far from home_  
_I wish I could wipe the tears away  
I wish I could take away your pain_  
_I wish I could show you  
That you aren't all alone_  
_I'm holding on to you_  
_I'm leading you home_  
_You may be crying tears of pain_  
_You may feel like your eyes are drying out from the rain  
Open your eyes  
I'm never far away  
You're never alone  
I see tears  
I see fears  
I see emotional garbage too  
But when you open your eyes  
Here is what I see  
I see you  
I see you holding on  
I see you being strong  
I see beyond the tears  
I see beyond the fears  
I see you.  
I love you.  
I know you  
I will always let you hold on to me  
I know one day you will see  
Why happening _  
_Hold on to me  
Hold on to me  
Hold on to me  
Hold on to me  
Hope is in your heart  
I am in your heart._


	23. And I Know Your Heart Is With Me

**Miley's Point of View**

When I was nine years old Oliver had a favorite sweatshirt. He wore it every day and it was his life almost. One day I was walking to school and I tripped and fell. I was bleeding, not badly but I was really scared. Oliver took of his sweatshirt and wrapped it around my leg. Oliver got blood on his favorite sweatshirt and didn't seem to care. When I asked him about it he said, "I love that shirt but you're my friend and I love you more"  
After the picnic was over I had to go to chemo. Oliver decided to come with me and daddy while Mamaw took care of Jackson.

"Oliver," I said, "Are you sure. You haven't seen me during chemo the first time. I'm gross and Dr. Red said after been off it for a week I probably will be gross again"  
He rolled his eyes.

"You could never be gross," he told me, "You're my best friend and you're beautiful to me"

**Oliver's Point of View**

Miley had a very rough chemo session. It was so bad in fact that the doctor decided to keep her in the hospital this entire week. Robby Ray stayed with her. I went to talk to Dr. Red to see if there was anything that could be done to make it easier for her.

"Actually," Dr. Red said, "We have a new thing where someone can take on the side effects of her chemo while she gets the treatment. I was about to talk with Robby Ray about that. The problem is that Jackson needs to be cared for. Jackson can't be left on his own."

"I'll do it," I said without hesitation.

"You what?"

"I'll do it. I can't stand to see Miley in pain"


	24. So I'm Moving On Part 2

**Jackson's Point of View**

"Mamaw," I asked her

"Yes dear?"

"When is Miley coming back?"  
Mamaw sighed as she sat me down.

**Mamaw's Point of View**

"Baby," I told him, "Miley got REAL sick at her chemotherapy appointment so the Doctors are keeping her in the hospital for the next week or so to make sure she's okay"

"Is she gonna die," Jackson asked me  
I had to be truthful. I don't want him to be shocked if that happened because it is a real possibility. Miley was extremely sick.

"Jackson," I said placing him in my lap, "I don't want your sister to die. Your daddy don't want your sister to die. Your sister don't want to die. Your sisters friends don't want her to die. The problem is she's real sick. She's trying very hard to get better but there is a chance she might have to go be with your mommy."  
Jackson's eyes watered up. He was so sad and it made me sad too.

"I don't want to lose her," he said, "I don't want to lose my sister"

"I know," I said, "and we're doing everything we can to make sure it doesn't happen. But if it does she'll be okay and you'll see her again. It's gonna be okay Jackson"

**Oliver's Point of View**

I stayed with Miley the rest of the afternoon. Lily came by at 10:30 that night.

"How's she feeling," Lily asked

"Not so good," I said after which I told her what I was doing"

**Lily's Point of View**

I was really proud of my Ollie-pop. That was an incredible thing he was doing. Sucks that he'll probably lose his hair though.


	25. Letting Go Part 2

**Jackson's Point of View**

Mamaw took me to see Miley today. She didn't look so sick. Maybe she's getting better. When I suggested that to Mamaw she only smiled sadly and shook her head.

"Not yet darlin'," she told me.

"But she doesn't look sick," I pointed out.

"The medication that she's taking is making her sick," Mamaw explained

"So why not stop her medication if it's making her sick," I asked

"Baby the medication has side effect. It's the only way to get her well enough to get her better"  
Just then Dr. Red came out.

"How's my Jackson," Dr. Red asked

"Sad," I said, "I want Miley to get better"

"I know you do," Dr. Red said, "You might be able to help her get better"

"Really," I said, "I want to"

"I know you do," he said with a smile, "You'll just have to take a little blood test"  
I frowned

"But I haven't studied yet," I said  
Dr. Red and Mamaw both laughed. So did Miley. So did Lily. So did Oliver. So did daddy.

"Bud a blood test is when you get your blood taken," daddy explained, "Remember your last Doctor appointment?"

"Oh yeah," I said frowning.  
I hated getting my blood taken but it was just a tiny stick. II could take the pain for my sister.

"Lets do it," I said

**Dr. Red's Point of View**

Robby Ray, Mamaw, Lily and Oliver had already been tested. I got tested also. Robby Ray's came the closet but Miley needed an exact match. She also needed several more chemo sessions before her body could handle a transplant but that's a story for later.


	26. Holding on to Tomorrow Part 2

**Jackson's Point of View**

After Dr. Red took my blood I was allowed to see Miley. We watched TV for awhile. She even let me watch Barney. I snuggled up to her and fell asleep after a little while.

**Miley's point of View**

When I woke up Jackson had left. Everyone was gone. I was all alone. Suddenly I felt so angry. It wasn't fair. Why me? Did I do something wrong and now GOD is punishing me for something I did? Was this in GOD'S great plan? Why did I have to maybe leave my dad and my brother. Filled with rage I took a glass and threw it across the room. It broke. It was as destroyed as my body.  
Daddy came in.

"Feelin' a little sorry for yourself huh bud," he asked

"Um... no?"

"Yeah you are," he said, "And that's not a bad thing. You're going through a lot. But you have to remember Miles a pity party is no fun."

"Yeah I know," I said, "I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to be sick"  
Daddy laughed.

"Want to be sick? Do you think your momma wanted to be sick?"

"No," I said, "Of course not."

"Do you think Aunt Pearl wanted to weigh 300 pounds?"  
I laughed.

"No but she did want to eat," I shot back

"True enough bud," daddy said, "But my point is that sometimes things happen in life that isn't going to be easy. Labor would be a great example"  
Mamaw came in.

"Really? Robby Ray Stewart when YOU push a watermelon through the tip of your penis then you can talk about labor"  
That did it. I cracked up.


	27. I've Always Got The Memories Part 2

((Flashback))

_Miley was getting ready for her first concert._

_"I'm so nervous," she said_

"Now Miley," Nicole told her daughter, "There's no need to be nervous. You'll do great"

_((Flashback))_

_It was a few years later. Miley was having a really bad day. She had just lost her mom recently. Lily had a skateboarding competition and Miley showed up to support her._

_"Oh my GOD you came," Lily said_

_Miley gave her a look_  
_"But you were having a bad day"_

"Of course I did," she said, "Did you doubt I would"

_"And," Miley said, "That sure as hell isn't going to stop me from seeing my best friend win first prize. Ore second or third or even lose. I don't care. You're my best friend and nothing's going to stop me from supporting you"_  
Miley was always an amazing friend to Lily and Lily was the same way to Miley. Cancer won't tear apart their friendship. But would it tear apart her life. No. It wouldn't. Lily wouldn't let it"


	28. While I'm Finding Out Who I'm Gonna Be 2

Holly and her family were based on the family of one of my fav writers. They are orginal yet inspired characters

* * *

Holly's Point of View

By nature I am not a very positive person. I teach Jr. High and I have high expectations. Hey, I'm the oldest of 9 children. I know how important it is to be prepared

Ask me if I'm loving and the answer will no doubt be yes. Ask me if I compliment people when they do well and the answer is yes. But being positive doesn't come easy to me. However I will do ANYTHING for my family. When my youngest sister, Sara came up to me and asked to help her with a science project, as it was the first time she was entering the science fair I thought she needed an idea and I had a great one. Turned out, she had a plan all her own.

"I'm trying to see how people respond to positive vs. negative," she explained.

I stared at my sister. She's six years old. At that age they were supposed to be making clay models or something. Where does she come up with her ideas. Even, I wasn't that bright. She way explaining to me that she was going to document how much better or worse of a response you get from being positive. People tend to want to please a positive person and will resent negative people. So my job should I chose to accept it was to drop the negative and go completely for positive. Reward the ones who are prepared and simply remind the unprepared ones to be prepared next time. Then I was to track the results and tell her.

Track the response? Okay, I know there's a 23 year difference between Sara and myself. There is a 21 year difference between Sara and my next in line sister Krissy. There is a seventeen year difference between Sara and our brother. There is an 11 year difference between Sara and our sister Hannah. There is a 4 year difference between Sara and the triples April, Mae and Laura and Sara was always around mature people but I did NOT know my little sister was a true genius at this point. I was flabbergasted.

"Okay," I told her, "I'll do that"  
She squealed excited and hugged me. I hugged her back.

"I don't think you'll get the results you're hoping for," I cautioned.

"It's okay," Sara said, "I'm sure I will"  
I kissed my sister's head. She seemed so confident.  
Sara was a surprise. So were the triplets and for that matter Hannah. Hannah was named after my brother's favorite singer. He was **obsessed **with Hannah Montana. When Lily, one of my students offered to introduce my brother to Hannah Montana I swear my brother looked like he had died and gone to haven. I never understood his obsession with Hannah Montana. Once I met her I understood. Of course I know Hannah Montana is really Miley Stewart but I would never tell my brother that because even at his age he's crazy about Hannah Montana and I wouldn't want to ruin it for him.

The next day Lily was unprepared and she seemed really upset.

"Lily," I said, "I want to talk with you for a minute. Lets take a walk. Oliver you're in charge"  
I took Lily outside in the hall.

"What's going on," I asked her gently.

"It's Miley," Lily said, "She's taken a turn for the worse"  
I felt my heart pounding.

"How bad," I asked her.

"She's going to need a bone marrow transplant," Lily said, "and soon. Dr. Red said she can't hold out too much longer. But there's no... no way she's strong enough to survive a bone marrow transplant so either she gets it and she dies or she doesn't get in and she dies."

"Lily," I said firmly, "Miley may die but she has a fighting chance. She is not a quitter. We are going to fight for her"

"How," Lily asked  
I thought for a minute. Then I had an idea.

"The chemo is making her weak right?"

"Yes... but Oliver can't continue taking the reverse chemo He has diabetes-"

"Well I don't," I said firmly, "So I will take the reverse chemo for Miley and she WILL get the transplant and she WILL get better"


	29. We May Be Apart Part 2

Jackson's Point of View

I'm at home now and I'm really missing Miley. Why does she have to have dumb leukemia? Why does she have to have the same sickness mommy had. I don't remember mommy but Miley's been like my mom ever since I was born.

I want my sister to be back with me and daddy. I want her to scold me when I listen in on her phone conversations and then hug me when I pout. I want her to play with me. I want her to take me to the park. I want her to be healthy again. I want her to take Hannah for a walk with me. I want her to make me laugh. Most of all I want her to be healthy again. I hate being apart from my sister.


	30. But I Hope You Always Know Part 2

**Miley's Point of View**

I was in my hospital room when the door opened. It was daddy. I smiled seeing him.

"Hey daddy," I said weakly.

"Hey Bud," he said, "How are we feeling?"

"I don't know how you're feeling," I said, "But I've been better. I miss my brother and-"

"Starting to feel a little down bud?"

"Starting to feel a lot down," I replied, "I feel like my whole life is controlled by this stupid illness"

He sat down next to me.

"Sadly it is at the moment," he said, "But that doesn't mean it has control of your life. You have control of your life"

"I GET THAT," I snapped, "BUT IT'S STOPPING ME FROM SO MUCH"

He nodded sympathetically.

"It seems that way at this point," he said, "But you are stronger then this cancer. You are going to win this fight. You've won every fight you ever fought and this is not going to be an exception."

"Okay," I said

"And how would you like to see Jackson? I can bring him in tonight"

"Would you," I asked excited, "That would be great"

"Course I will darlin'," Daddy said, "Now you just go on and get some rest now... ya hear"

I groaned. I had been resting for so long."'

"Alright then," he said, "How about a video?"

"The princess diaries," I requested.

"Right you are," he said putting it on.

I tried to stay away for the whole thing but ended up falling asleep. When I woke up it was almost 8 o'clock. Daddy was going to bring Jackson at nine. Just a little over an hour. I'm so excited about that. My family keeps me going. I lay back in my bed feeling weak but happy.


	31. You'll Be With Me Wherever I Go Part 2

**Robbie Ray's point of view**

Jackson and Miley were in the room together. I went to the gift shop and I saw something that I knew Jackson would like. I wanted to buy it for him but I felt kind of guilty too. I mean it wasn't Jackson that was sick with cancer. It was Miley. I should be buying her things. But Miley wouldn't mind if I got her brother a gift. But if I got Jackson a gift I would have to get Miley something too. I look around.

"What can I get you," the saleswoman asked me.

"My daughter's health," I said, "I'm sorry. I'm the parent of a child who has cancer and it's hard"

"I understand," she said, "My son died of cancer several years ago. His sister was 12 and his brother was 3. He was just a baby and it hurt"

"Miley's not going to die," I said firmly

"Even if she does,' the saleswoman said, "She's always going to be with you"


	32. Show The World We Have Something To Say

**Miley's point of view**

Ten days later I was doing a song for a video. It was called I have something to say.

"And action," the director called.

"This is a song I wrote myself," I said, "It's called I have something to say."

**_You think you can see right through me  
You think I'm just a poor poor girl  
You think I should be the kind of people  
That hasn't a care in the world  
But I've had bad days too  
I've had times I shouted through and through  
You have to hear me one day  
Because I have something to say  
Cancer stole my health  
It stole my momma's life  
But I am winning the fight  
I'm winning the fight  
I'm coming through  
I'll see you at the finish line  
I have something to say  
And hear me well  
I have something to say  
Cancer is a sin  
and it won't win  
I have something to say  
Yes I have something to say  
_**  
"And with that I ended by saying, "Take that cancer"


	33. A Song To Sing That Will Never Fade Away

Miley's point of view

"Hey Miley," Lily said.  
I jumped.

"You startled me," I said.

"Well anyway," Lily replied, "I was thinking we should all do something together."

"Sure," I said, "What do you want to do."  
It was the first time in a month that I didn't have a chemo appointment.

"Um... well we could go see a movie or we could go to the park or we could maybe check out Havenway place."

"Right. Like Oliver would ever be cool with that," I said laughing.

"What would Oliver be cool with," Oliver asked.

"Lily suggested we check out Havenway Place," I explained, "But since I'm different-"

"Shut up," Oliver said laughing, "Come on. It's cold out though so get your sweater Miley."

"Oliver," I whined playfully, "I'm not cold"

"I don't want you getting sicker," Oliver said.

"Don't you have healing abilities," Lily asked Oliver.

"Not like I used to," Oliver said, "If I did do you think Miley would still have cancer."

"OLIVER do not say the c word today," Lily said, "Miley only had one week withou mo and when she's not on that treatment she shouldn't have to think about he r!"  
I rolled my eyes.

"I think about m every d a y," I said, "Whenever I see a bruise it scares the hell out of me. Whenever I have a fever I worry it means that I'm going to get worse. I know that this is going to be a battle until I'm in remission for five years."  
All of a sudden I had trouble breathing. I felt like I was going to pass out. And then... darkness.


End file.
